I have not published for a while and whilst 20 drafts sit waiting to be published, I’m writing something new.

It has been a weekend of celebrating the wonder of words and poetry.

Yesterday evening I attended a beautiful event on the beautiful peninsula of Gower, where I live. This event was in honour of a much neglected poet, Vernon Watkins. If you have never heard of him and you like poetry, then do yourself a favour and find him out.

Today I attended and participated at Spoken Word Saturday in Llanelli, a rugby-loving town in South Wales. The space we gathered in was alive with the voices and creativity of those who shared, as well as the listening ears and hearts of the audience.

I shared one of my own poems, the one I finished writing today: The Patriarchy of Disconnection.

Since I can remember
God has been cast as my Father
but recently I’d rather
God to also be my Mother.

Now maybe, just maybe
this stems not really
from a flight of fancy
but rather a tentative
discovery
of how things really 
were, are and also will be.

When He was only my Father
there was no access
to Mother’s milk
for uniquely perfect
nourishment.

So I, like many others
was fed
formula
instead.

The trick has been
entrenched
in many of my generations
and we were raised
on formula and formulations
creations of men
proclaiming the maleness
of the God of our making
Yet God made
the woman completely human too.
That’s true.

All my years
I’ve been searching for this Mother
this other
of divinity
with softness and a warm embrace
with closeness and a smiling face

I’ve been wearied, worn out
from years of gatherings
led by men
proclaiming news of a Father
farther away.

The rules He wrote down
was written in stone
keep it, or get punished
outside, alone.

Men added to these rules.
For women:
silence and submission
For children:
the rod of discipline

So as a girl child 
that grew
into a women
my voice became distorted
my understanding contorted
fearful, confused, enraged
so many repressed 
emotions and thoughts.

Then I started seeing
glimpses of Jesus
a free thinker in his day
not towing the party line, one could say
siding with the women
giving time to the children
whilst chiding the men
and breaking the rules
laid down by them.

And so it continues
to this day
put on the straightjacket
keep your head down
and pray.

Or refuse
to be silenced
to follow the party line
and live (or maybe die) within the confines
of whatever’s been handed down!

No, you go
you seek
you knock
you speak
ask questions
rage if you have to 
exchange repression for expression
until what remains
is the truth of you
and the freedom of accepting
what you are, even if a woman
is good enough too.

And God
much closer than a set of rules
much freer than a role on anyone’s stage
much wiser that a company of power-seeking fools
much more mysterious than 
the image of a man full of rage.

And what’s more
according to that tradition
handed down to me by men
God made us in His image
He made us woman and man

Then surely He must contain
all of this
and gave us the option for pleasure
even bliss
in finding loving reunion
not only with Him and Her
but also with each other. 

What are your views of God? Do you have awareness, experience or a belief-system of a power greater than yourself,  that could be or is, divine? How has your awareness and relation to whatever you were taught about a Divine being changed over the course of your life?