Misunderstood

As I mentioned in my last post, writing is a sort of healing and discovery process for me. What I write does not relate to any specific person or situation. More often than not, it is an attempt to express the feeling or meaning of many experiences and observations.

We all experience life through different lenses and filters. I also believe in the power of our core beliefs on how we experience life and the choices we make that then shape the unfolding of our life journey. Core beliefs are often subconscious or unconscious and it is a marvellous things to become aware of self-sabotaging core beliefs. Once awareness reaches one’s being by way of the kindness and goodness in the universe, there is hope of change and growth.

One fascinating part of life is the mystery of romantic love. It can easily turn into a minefield of misery… why? This little poem of mine is a small slither of some of the things I have observed and experienced over a long period of time, mingled together to try and capture a feeling.

 

Love is supposed to be a feast
not an exchange of leftover morsels

It’s your silence
that thunders in my ears

Your physical absence
a tangible ache
fountain of tears

Disinterest and indifference
aggression in passivity?

This violence is worse
than the type I can fight
It locks voice in my throat 
and love in my heart

This dance of doom
is the unconscious way
we relate to each other
as enemies and lovers

It’s the way of denial
of games and accusations
always on trial

It’s an intimate war
a play for power
yet I know
it’s not supposed to be so

Despite all the pain
written in my history
dreams keep resurrecting
from the tombs of trauma
hopes stubbornly refuse
to be incinerated
by cynicism

You brought the scent
of spring
after a long cold winter

and I simply 
cannot pretend
that nothing happened.

 

Have you ever been confused by the rules of what sometimes appears to be the games we play? Have you been lucky enough to find true, lasting love? If love keeps slipping out of your reach, eluding your reality, does it even bother you? Is it worth it to keep on hoping and dreaming, even though disappointment is always a possibility? How can young people be guided to enter into the reality of dating with resilience and good boundaries of respect and kindness? How can older people whose hearts have been bruised and battered a bit, learn new ways of engagement and relating?

Just a few questions for a potential conversation. Observation and conversation: two traditional ways to gain understanding and come to new insights.

 

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