Disillusion

I’ve been here
silent all these years
emotions and thoughts
imprisoned in fear

locked up with keys of guilt and shame
so my heart was grey
with grief

so much to say
to share
no voice
no confidence

So I mostly existed
disconnected
dull
defeated

but refused to be blinded
to the divinity
that dwells inside
all of humanity
even when so many
of us
including me
have gone

mad
bad
sad
one or all three
to varying degree

But now I know
beyond a shadow of a doubt
that I’m worthy of love
have beauty
inside and out

My voice is free
my heart at ease
I’ll speak my piece
and be at peace

I’ll have my place
give you your space
the illusion’s been shattered
we are all one, not seperated.

So I’ve always thought that it is a bad and painful thing to be disillusioned. Now I think it is the best thing ever, to be disillusioned! Who wants to live an illusion when there is reality to enjoy. It is the lies we believe that create the illusions. It is the truth we discover that disillusion us and set us free to be more fully alive and able to enjoy what’s been given to us. Of course, the process includes pain, but the pain is negligible compared to the joy and the beauty of living with authenticity in the safety and acceptance of love.

Have you been mad, bad or sad for periods in your life? How did you break free and become well again? Do you have a song in your heart and a dance in your feet that need to be released? Just do it! Even though it may feel awkward or uncomfortable, just do it, it will be worth it. The world will be a richer place when you express yourself, even if you have to start with rage and tears, the beauty will follow. Just be careful with rage, let it out in a safe way and in a safe place, because it can be dangerous and hurtful to oneself and others.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Oh yes. I can have a pretty hot temper. Not so much now but when I was younger I seemed to stay mad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thia-runner-writer says:

      I think anger is one of the most powerful, most difficult, least talked about emotions we need to learn to live with.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It is. But I think that I’m like my dad in that I’ve mellowed out over the past decade or so.
    I still get angry but I’ve found ways to use it positively

    Liked by 1 person

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