There is agony and ecstacy
in living deeply
with awareness
rather than hiding
and lying to ourselves
as we pass through our days
just existing or surviving
So I choose awareness
questioning and risk
I allow myself
to question the reason
and feel the emotion
by which I live
I consider
the longings and desires
buried deeply
in my heart
some have been denied
and ridiculed
in cultures
from long ago
now they take me by surprise
But I’m learning
in the process maybe
weeping, crying
sighing
but then as I let
all the sadness out
years of confusion
of wearing masks
of flatness and fakenss
the tension starts to go
peace starts to flow
and flood me
joy, contentment, happiness grows
I find my true smile
and skip through life again
with increasing freedom
laughing,
then crying, weeping, sighing…
and laughing again.
thia-runner-writer 
Very well written!
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Thank you.
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I like it, especially the line “I allow myself to question the reason and feel the emotion by which I live”. As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living”. But many, if not most, seem to just go through the motions, sort of follow blindly an endless non-conscious way. Your words are true, your actions even more so. Thank you for sharing this and more with us, with me.
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Thank you. And I followed that way for far too long… the unconscious one.
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